🎙️ Raising Healthy Habits - Confidence feat. Jennifer Rich, LMFT
Episode Transcript:
“Have you ever heard your child say something like,
‘Why don’t I look like them?’
or
‘I look weird in this outfit.’
It can feel like a punch to the gut — especially when you know how young they still are.
And suddenly you’re wondering:
How early does this start? How do I respond? Am I doing this right?
Hi, I’m Maggie Rich, a Certified Functional Nutrition Counselor and founder of Healthy Habits Santa Cruz, and this is Raising Healthy Habits — a podcast series that helps you raise confident, curious, and well-nourished kids from the inside out.
Today, we’re talking about something incredibly meaningful:
how to support body confidence in our kids… and how to gently heal our own food and body stories along the way.” We’ll also be getting some wonderful insight from an experienced licensed marriage and family therapist who has 3 simple ways to raise your kids confidence.
🧠 Why This Matters: What’s Happening in Grades 3–5
“Let's first talk about why this matters now, in the 3rd -5th grade curriculum.
These late-elementary years bring big shifts.
Kids become more aware of themselves, of their peers, and of how their bodies change. They begin noticing differences — who’s growing quickly, who isn’t, who looks older, who still looks young — and they start comparing.
They’re also absorbing more messages than ever before. Not just from school or friends, but from the way adults talk about their own bodies, from what they see online, and from the subtle cues that surround them every day.
And here’s something important to hold onto:
Kids don’t arrive in the world with body shame.
They learn it through the environment they’re in. Which means we also have the power to interrupt it.
I want to gently share one grounding reality:
More than 28 million Americans will experience an eating disorder in their lifetime. And while diagnoses often show up in the teen or young-adult years, the core beliefs that fuel them — comparison, shame, guilt — often take root much earlier.
This is why these conversations matter.
Not because we have to get everything perfect, but because these early years shape how kids see themselves long-term.”
🌿 Teaching Body Diversity (Smooth, Natural, Non-Repetitive)
“One of the most supportive ideas we can teach kids is that bodies grow at different rhythms.
Some children go through changes early.
Others take longer.
Some grow rapidly, then level out for a while.
Others grow slowly and steadily.
And plenty of kids look the same for years before they suddenly shoot up.
Every pattern is normal.
Every timeline is valid.
A phrase I love using with kids is:
‘Your body grows at the pace that’s right for you.’
And to them, that makes perfect sense when we use nature as the example.
In a single garden, some plants sprout quickly. Others take their time. Some bloom weeks after the rest. None of that is a problem — it’s simply how nature works.
Bodies follow the same rhythm.
Each one moves on its own schedule.”
📺 Helping Kids Understand Media (Without Shame or Lectures)
“Kids today see more images in a week than many of us saw in an entire year growing up. Even if they’re not on social media, they still see edited photos, idealized characters, ads, YouTube thumbnails, and videos of older kids.
They notice more than we think.
You don’t need a long talk or a warning speech.
Little moments to question what they’re seeing works perfectly:
‘That picture looks edited — what do you think?’
‘Does this seem real or made to look a certain way?’
‘What do you notice about this character?’
Kids naturally pick up on these things when we gently invite them to look closer and question what they see.”
🍽️ Nourishment, Intuition & Their Relationship With Food
“Body confidence is deeply tied to how well kids stay connected to their own hunger and fullness cues.
And these middle years — eight through eleven — are a beautiful time to support that. Kids are old enough to understand their bodies, but young enough that diet culture hasn’t fully stepped in yet.
This is where some of the common phrases we grew up hearing can unintentionally create confusion:
Like
‘Finish everything on your plate.’
or
‘You don’t need seconds — you already ate.’
These come from love and routine.
But they override the internal messages kids are trying to listen to.
When a child says they’re still hungry and we say, ‘No, you’re not,’
or when they say they’re full and we tell them to keep eating,
they start learning that their body can’t be trusted.
Instead, we can shift to gentle curiosity:
‘What is your stomach telling you right now?’
‘Do you feel satisfied or still hungry?’
‘Does your body feel done?’
These little check-ins remind them of something powerful:
Your body communicates with you — and you’re allowed to listen.”
💪 “What Makes You Strong?” — A Simple, Grounding Reframe
“When kids start worrying about how they look, one of the best ways to ground them is to redirect attention to what they can do.
Ask them:
‘What makes you strong?’
And let them define strength for themselves:
‘I kept practicing even when it was hard.’
‘I helped a friend today.’
‘I swam the whole length of the pool.’
‘I was brave at my doctor’s appointment.’
Strength can be emotional, physical, mental, or relational.
This little reflection gently moves the focus away from appearance and toward capability. Also, when we feel strong inside, it tends to make us feel stronger all around.”
❤️ Healing Our Own Food Stories (The Parent Work)
“Many of us grew up around dieting, body talk, shame, or food rules — sometimes spoken, sometimes implied.
If that was your experience, please hear this:
You are not doing anything wrong.
You are simply noticing what you don’t want to pass on.
And the act of healing your own relationship with food — even slowly, even imperfectly — is one of the most powerful things you can model.
Here are some gentle shifts you can practice:
Instead of:
‘I shouldn’t eat that.’
Try:
‘I’m choosing what helps me feel good today.’
Instead of:
‘I look terrible.’
Try:
‘My body feels a little off — maybe it needs rest.’
Your child doesn’t need you to be perfectly healed.
They just need to see you trying to speak kindly to yourself.”
👨👩👧 7. Conversation With My Mom — An LMFT’s Perspective on Building Emotional Safety
Maggie:
“Now, before we wrap up, I want to bring in someone very special — my mom, who is a licensed marriage and family therapist and has worked with children and families for decades.
Mom, I asked you to join today because so much of body confidence doesn’t actually start with food… It starts with emotional safety. And I know you teach parents some incredibly simple, grounding practices that make a huge impact.
So I want to ask you a few questions that I know parents will benefit from.”
🟣 Question 1 — “What’s one thing parents can do daily that truly boosts a child’s confidence?”
Maggie:
“First, what is one thing parents can do every single day that really strengthens a child’s sense of worth?”
Jennifer Rich, LMFT:
“One of the simplest and most powerful things a parent can do is to name one thing their child did well that day.
It doesn’t have to be big. In fact, small things matter most —
‘I noticed how patient you were with your brother,’
‘I saw how hard you worked on your homework,’
or
‘I loved how gently you treated the dog.’
Children need to hear what they’re doing right.
It helps them build an identity rooted in capability, effort, kindness, and resilience — instead of appearance.”
🟣 Question 2 — “How important is simply spending time together?”
Maggie:
“You also talk a lot about connection through shared moments. Can you explain why small amounts of time together matter so much?”
Jennifer Rich, LMFT:
“Yes — connection doesn’t require hours.
Even 15 minutes a day doing something together is enough to strengthen a child’s sense of belonging.
This can be walking the dog, reading a chapter of a book, cooking something simple, drawing, sitting on the couch and watching a show, or playing a quick game.
The activity itself doesn’t matter — the message does:
‘You matter to me. I enjoy spending time with you.’
That message becomes part of their internal voice.”
🟣 Question 3 — “What about nighttime routines and affection?”
Maggie:
“And the last thing — you always emphasize nighttime as a powerful moment of connection. What should parents try to do each night?”
Jennifer Rich, LMFT:
“Even on the busiest days, try to end with physical warmth and verbal reassurance.
A hug, a kiss on the head, and an “I love you”.
These rituals anchor kids.
They help them feel safe as they fall asleep and confident as they grow.
For a child, being consistently loved — not for achievements or appearance, but simply for being who they are — is one of the strongest protective factors against body shame, anxiety, and self-doubt.”
💛 Transition Back
Maggie:
“Thank you, Mom — I love how simple and doable these are.
And I love that they’re all about connection, noticing, and presence — the things that truly build a child’s confidence from the inside out. I too can personally vouch for these as I’ve been told I’ve always been a confident kid and now an adult. I think you need some level of confidence to start a podcast let alone a business.
Let's just recap those last three notes.
Tell your child one thing they did right today.
Something you noticed. Something they tried. Something that showed effort, kindness, or growth.Spend 15 minutes doing something together.
It can be walking the dog, reading a book, watching a show, cooking, drawing, anything — the activity doesn’t matter; the connection does.End the day with a hug and an “I love you”.
A hug, a kiss, and an ‘I love you’ — a moment that tells them they are safe, loved, and valued, exactly as they are.”
🌿 Closing
“So the next time your child says something about their body, take a slow breath.
You don’t need the perfect response — you just need connection, compassion, and presence.
Your child is learning from the way you relate to them… and the way you relate to yourself. Every small moment of warmth and awareness builds a sense of safety inside them that they’ll carry far beyond these years.
And if you want nutritional support with these ideas, I encourage you to explore the earlier episodes in this series. The episode right before this one — on Fat, Fiber, and Protein — has free handouts you can download, including the whole-food cheat sheet and the build-your-own meal guide. And Episode 1 and 2 each come with their own resources as well.
Even though I’m not adding a new handout this week, those tools can help you bring more connection, curiosity, and nourishment into your family’s daily rhythm.
I’m Maggie Rich, and this is Raising Healthy Habits.
Thank you for being here, and for helping your child feel confident, supported, and at home in their body.”